That's Some Big Wheel
Kelly wrote sections for 'her Book' showing some connections
I had not made. I sorted out subject areas before there was too much, without
mentioning it to her yet. Some days anything or nothing produced panic in
Kelly, and a feeling she must go to hospital. I grew wary. Kelly said I
imagined that I was the cause of things. A new alter Lala said I was making
Kelly stronger and should go away. I replied I first needed answers to what lay
behind this. That registered, before someone dashed off for a therapy session
that Kelly had just emphasised she would not attend.
Kelly herself failed to attend several sessions, while the
cult kept calling and punishing. Kelly thought that this part of things was
just imagination, while raising concern at her cuts and bruises. But Daisy saw
Trixie, excited at being wooed there with crayons and sweets, not just sandplay
any more. Trixie's eyes boggled as Daisy described what Kelly was saying and
writing.
A long email exchange wheeled in a huge circle with Kelly
playing everyone off against each other, whining she could do nothing but stay
on the computer with me, the only person still in touch, and even I only
listened to Daisy. I grew more wary. When 2 days later Kelly said she had taken
one of her children to see Trixie, I reacted firmly that I could not get
involved, and did not accept her pleas of 'What else could I do?' over a
youngster spat like ones she used to manage.
Kelly told me that partner Phil had ended the relationship
and financial support. I wrote to sympathise as there were family burdens too.
I've not known anyone lumbered with so many chores and blamed for so much.
Cinder-Kelly indeed. Informant said an appointment was now fixed for Kelly and
Phil to see Trixie. In the past I pushed away personal stuff between Kelly and
Phil, and had also said I could not get involved in Kelly's family which looked
set on a collision course. I was uneasy about censoring a major part of our
communications, although Kelly had agreed over the inadvisability of her child
seeing Trixie. I said it was OK for Kelly to see her as an adult if she wanted,
but her child was a minor and could not make that decision. She said if it
arose again she would seek advice via a person she knew and trusted.
Someone else was censoring too, with Kelly's responses
tailing off as her emails bounced back at her looking as though blocked by me:
An alter, or someone jamming from a vehicle outside? An additional motivation
from somewhere seemed to want to flush me out. There had been another day of
Kelly asking inane personal questions to string me along. Something was going
very wrong and I could not blame her. I had become curious about panic trips to
hospital following requests made through others in the system, from which Kelly
sensed a boundary. Kelly herself was perhaps instigating a kind of meltdown or
showdown, thinking they would be easier to bear than my giving up on her.
Kelly wrote from a different email box that I had arranged
for her writing. She was panicking at bouncing emails and the fewer responses
from me, as if she blamed me for blocking her. At least she had the sense to
check. I explained we had this trouble in the days of Marta, when I opened a
new email box every week as each address was successively blocked at their end.
It seemed whichever alter wrote now, I was not responding in kind as they
hoped.
Lala accused me of pulling a neat trick by blocking their
emails, and claimed a number were sent but I had failed to respond. She claimed
5 out of 7 from them were not getting through. But I had been checking the
writing email box, and there was nothing apart from those I'd seen and
answered. I suggested they re-send from the Sent box, that I'd been checking
and they had not appeared there.
Now that Trixie and/or the cult knew Kelly was telling me
things, it could be a risk for her or the children. A situation had come about
or been induced, where Trixie was called in over one child who was just of an
age for the cult and of interest to them. Trixie was called the same week over
Phil and Kelly. Kelly's attempts to seek moral support over difficult issues
were being blocked, even though I could not do much and might not always agree.
If these people were doing half these things, what was the danger to Kelly in
real terms, or for the child she took such pains to protect? Maybe the cult
thought Phil's role was over. I had recently asked Daisy's interpreter about
Phil's possible collusion with Trixie, and again got no reply.
Kelly was in a spin and could not see anything other than
trying to avoid the unavoidable. In her panics she got involved with people who
needed someone highly manipulable. That was part of her draw, her power. When
she thought clearly she surpassed anything I am capable of, but otherwise she
froze like a rabbit in headlights. Or else she short-circuited as a result of
years of conditioning: call the cops, go to hospital, rush to see Marta or
Trixie, leave the house because of a smell of smoke. She used to grasp what I
was saying, and was able to expand on strategies as though born to it. We both
knew her capacities were diminished and I could not see how she kept going.
It was apparent from Kelly's writing that she always knew of
cult dangers for her children, leaving town with them when they were tiny,
although she was now not properly aware of why. She used to discuss the cult
openly in relation to Marta, but not for the last few months. It was as if it
none of it ever happened. She seemed oblivious to the cult in relation to her children
who were growing older, and I felt this was potentially a very serious problem.
In flashes of insight Kelly knew Trixie equalled Marta equalled cult, and that
I was not the person playing games.
To Kelly there was no visible or viable option to her constant
turmoils. When I was uneasy over her taking the child to Trixie, or if I was
not online, or she blamed me over the emails, she was simply unable to consider
questions about who might find our communications awkward. If someone took
pains to block emails, then there was either a cult or something going
increasingly wrong inside her. When Kelly was thinking more clearly, she would
agree she was not mentally sick, as everyone around her including Trixie kept
saying she was. If she were indeed mentally sick, as sometimes she was
persuaded, she felt compelled to go to hospital. A couple of times only did she
she listen to me that she didn't have to rush off there.
For 3 months I spent time online with Kelly, as she came
back from where she was hiding, psychologically, to protect her children. I was
around before and after her therapy sessions, and eventually Kelly seemed to
see daylight. Various alters vied for my attention but I stuck with Kelly,
young Daisy whose head had been turned again, and Nolly or Informant who
provided background. Circumstances went from appalling to so dire that the
Kelly I knew seemed damaged beyond repair, in league with the evil like the
others. It was like an open pathway where she did not lift a finger of
resistance. I knew I could not stick around if Trixie saw Kelly's children,
though I would stay in touch over Kelly's writing and personal insights,
because something seemed to be working there.
This seemed in jeopardy as Kelly also claimed she sent
emails to me that got returned, yet there was no sign of them in the Sent box,
nor any mailer-daemon messages. She did not (I think) usually tell lies like
this, though she must have been feeling cut off and panicky. Someone inside was
engineering trouble, or Kelly was going for a bust-up rather than fearing I
would abandon her. Lala said that was worse to bear than physical pain and
abuse.
Anything I wrote to Lala could be edited or twisted and
presented to Kelly as fact. Looking at those exchanges in sequence, it seems
like a legal argument with allegations from their side of trickery, and my
defence and implication of lies on theirs. I kept back some comments that came
to mind but the damage was done and things were flaring up nastily. Kelly would
be devastated and feeling guilty for misleading me.
What kind of deal would the cult stick to over Kelly and her
children when it came down to cult decrees? No contest, done deal, done and
dusted. Kelly suffered it all, believing it was insurance to protect her
children, like paying protection money in an area designated by Mafia. Like
Mafia, whose reality was ignored for many years, intelligent informed people
still deny cultic existence. This thing is what then? Engineered by? For the
purposes of?
I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
I send them over land and sea,
I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
I give them all a rest.
I let them rest from nine till five,
For I am busy then,
As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,
For they are hungry men.
But different folk have different views;
I know a person small
She keeps ten million serving-men,
Who get no rest at all!
She sends em abroad on her own affairs,
From the second she opens her eyes
One million Hows, Two million Wheres,
And seven million Whys!
Rudyard Kipling
No wonder Kelly pleaded for my help though being consciously
unaware of so much. She would be unable to make changes that might put her
children at greater risk. What realistically could she do? I tried to help her
put things together while others did their utmost to ensure that she and others
like her, the producers and carers of children, could not break the shackles or
be believed. How would cults like this continue if people remembered and told
someone? - They'd have to be stopped from telling one way or another, wouldn't
they?
Those like me who hear things would need to be discouraged,
denigrated or hassled, as has happened to other therapists and helpers. If I
were to get hassled, do you think I might conceivably perhaps consider
considering some options? There's nothing to stop me dreaming or pondering
after all. Any person with a website for instance, unable to handle technical
issues themselves, could happenstance get another person to add in some links,
maybe from a few images might be neat, with a bit of background on lil' ol'
Hicktown and its inhabitants. People wouldn't believe it? - That would depend
on the presentation and technicality.
If the principles of how 'they' work are described, anyone
adding to information or joining some more dots, might just possibly be likely
to make the picture clearer, don't you think? I'm glad you agree. It is really
nice to be neighbourly, to learn more about different people and understand
their ways. There's nowt so evil as some folks. This could be happening in
places nearer you. How neighbourly can you get? It takes all sorts to make a
world, and it wouldn't do for us all to be the same.
Maybe some people or entities live in a different world,
where ethics are topsy-turvy and goodness is inside-out.
Like Alice
falling down the rabbit hole. But Alice
woke up.
To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die, to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause – there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Some Cult Aspects
Recently Kelly did not describe cult activity much, and did not speak as graphically as many other survivors of ritualistic cult activities. She didn't play the name game and did not know their names. In a recent lucid exchange she mentioned that babies and kittens killed by the cult had no chance to learn about life. 'What about them Lucy?' she asked. If you have not read about some of the current dynamics in Kelly's scenario, a summary appears in Factor This.
There is undisclosed material which links to participants'
personal lives, and also between key issues. This is not meant to be mysterious
- it reminds me at least of some areas. Things had now blown up at a time when
Kelly faced issues with far-reaching consequences, and I had not thought she
could survive this far. I had been reality-testing while putting other things
on hold. Kelly & company thought it was OK for me to be online 2-3 hours on
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and till the early hours on weekdays. They were
unwilling to consider the existence of others inside or outside with a
different agenda, and refused to engage in internal dialogue. Their system of
evasion whenever I felt something was possible, was all-encompassing and
broadband.
When I said 'It's OK to ask for my help, but there is only
so much another person can do' there was an immediate reaction of 'So you're
leaving us. Better to say now'. It could arise from nowhere. A day later Kelly
would be back apologising, with a request headed 'important' but no detail. My
guess is that someone behind all this thought I would stay forever hooked by
their dangles, even though they desired me to clear off or 'go fly'.
Kelly tended to get into any cul-de-sac or double-bind
going, and there were a fair number. Even if it seemed possible to steer clear
of one she would find herself in another, seemingly seeking impasse. In this
way her conflicts were not her fault, and she could innocently plead for help.
We humans are a bit like that! Looking at what Kelly had to contend with it was
a pretty logical ploy. Often there would be a truly drastic state of affairs
that had built up over months. I was aware of some of the circumstances and
people around Kelly and others, and I believe that if we crack part of those,
the rest can and will follow.
We can get word out to stop this happening to others or to
ourselves, while experts beg or don't beg to differ. I have great faith in the
perspicacity of ordinary people, with enquiring fair minds and no axe to grind.
You may not believe everything Kelly said, and she could give a ready excuse
through having her skills honed by survival. You may not agree with all of my
reasoning either. That is fine so long as we are not throwing out babies with
bathwater, spitting in the wind, or spiting our faces with cut-off noses. How
to smell the roses then?
In the earlier days of interacting with Kelly, I got emails
from Marta which were insulting, making my involvement personal alongside the
principles. Now there was increased harassment when Kelly missed a therapy or
cult night. No alter answered me over the likely connections. Nolly the
interpreter denied the cult was current, pleading the awfulness of rape and
hurt, saying if I did not help they would have a life of rape and torture. They
already did. She was sometimes polite, but tried to involve me for
ever-and-a-day saying 'It's not like a life sentence, nobody is twisting your
arm'. She used to parrot things that Marta whispered to Kelly, and there might
be an element now of Nolly picking up cult propaganda or denial. I realised
that my questions to Nolly and Informant were too complex, not allowing for
their stance on a particular day. I was trying to get them to see, before it
was too late, the unwisdom of seeing Trixie, plus her likely role for the cult
or for Marta. Sometimes they wanted Kelly to keep seeing Trixie for some basic
skills in living, like setting her straight.
The current tenor of lies and emails sounded much like
Marta. It is 'their' way of fighting learned longterm, and it is dirty. My
guess is that Kelly was mostly genuine, and she suffered greatly. At other
times she was more of a designated front-person for who or what lay behind, and
about which she was mainly kept clueless. I felt she bore some responsibility
for being so much in denial, though she had natural and enforced reasons.
What I could not fathom was why I was kept in the situation
after someone in the cult realised my awareness. I think they hedged their
bets, and Marta even involved me in some high dramas. When Kelly stood up to
Marta she was left alone for a while, which surely took restraint on Marta's
part. 'They' know they have various means and opportunities to get people like
Kelly back in the fold, whether or not they realise they are. That really is
some smart Trick - better than any Zombies film for sure.
More Yarn-spinning
In a couple of places I mentioned that nothing has been
included here for dramatic effect. Who needs to? Events and my thoughts for
what those are worth, appear in sequence except that the beginning started in
the middle. Writing up mainly as things happened helped to marshall my thoughts ready for the next
onslaught. Later exchanges on Kelly's circumstances or perhaps on Hicktown too,
are mentioned on this page and not inserted into earlier writing, although a
link may be inserted in some places. Time will tell if they belong there. If
there is a connection it may help others to recognise it in their local version
of ol' Hicktown.
There were far fewer emails with Kelly's normal route
blocked. Daisy the 5-year old alter sent drawings for 'her Book' that Trixie
was enticing her to write. Daisy implied that Trixie or I must help her with
it, so which it would be? I replied that it was not a good idea to play people
off against each other, receiving an 'innocent' denial. Daisy then took issue
with Trixie, threatening her and storming out of a session. Somehow people in
the system kept going back for appointments.
Kelly was deeply upset at the suicides of two young men, one
in Hicktown's notorious suicide spot. Both were known to Kelly directly or
indirectly through being on the same circuit as her family. I mention them in
this, not wishing to make inferences or cause extra burden for their families,
but in case people might assume that cults or social pressures only affect
vulnerable women. These men were under pressure to perform in their jobs. We
cannot generalise or assume a cult connection. We cannot deny any possibility
of some link.
Kelly was drawn back into the psychiatric mould by doing
things mothers normally do like showing concern, fearing she did the wrong
things because people said she did - damned if she did and damned if she
didn't. The psychiatrist said Kelly was in control if she wished it, and that
Daisy was maladaptive behaviour. I stayed out of that philosophical argument
this time. Strangely, Trixie attended that appointment and seemed in agreement.
Why did Trixie then draw Daisy back in with promises and gifts, one a toy
identical to one I'd bought when Daisy was the only persona holding the fort.
Trixie was copying me again, I think with different motivation but you be the
judge.
Kelly said nothing and the only information came in via
Nolly, Translator or Informant. Someone else began explaining things, being as
quick as others to say 'So you're not going to write any more' at the drop of a
hat. I was being told things I felt strongly against over Kelly's plans to take
revenge, which never was any part of our negotiation. I seemed to have lost
touch with Kelly, and she seemed to have lost touch with herself.
Kelly retired to bed for the most part, saying little about
it coming up to Halloween, returning to the computer bleakly afterwards.
Meanwhile there was an incident over the email account I'd set up for Kelly's
writing. Someone had changed the password and, thinking Kelly was protecting
her writing from someone, I changed it again and transferred her work out. Next
day someone was trying to get the new password and I thought Yahoo would ban us
both! I should have been the only one able to change it, holding the
confirmatory email account Kelly knew nothing of, nor did she know the secret
questions I wondered if someone would soon be changing my private passwords. Be
warned.
The new persona demanded that their writing be reinstated,
and Kelly wrote disjointedly that someone stole her writing. I pasted it all
into several long emails from where I was sorting some of it, and Kelly thanked
me. Some trust existed despite everything else, but it was strange being
accused of stealing the writing (I explained I had a copy meeting sarcasm that
of course I did), and that they said I was conducting some psychological
experiment in social control, designed to end in Kelly's death.
For the last part of the Kelly saga go to More Questions
than Answers below.
Readers of A Singular Mean-ing will see that is the sort of
thing that I thought was happening around her, which I was trying so hard to
fathom and obviate. Perhaps time will tell over this, if over nothing else in
the whole saga. During this episode however, it was made clear by Kelly and the
new persona that I should indeed publish their story because it could help
others.
It may not be as specific as the things happening around
them, but rather along the lines of:
What does anyone do when the chips fall perilously all
around?
See Measures and Countermeasures and the links below.
If You are in Trouble
At times Kelly seemed to be suffering from psychic attack or
negative prayer. If you get involved in a case like this you may meet it too.
There is a page of Measures and Countermeasures that may help you to get
through that, or through any other bad time, until you find remedies for
yourself. Also see the links appearing just below. Make use of what you can and
what feels right for you.
Information on Cults and Psychic Self-Defence
More links at www.scriptal.we.bs/measures.html
People need to use their personal circumstances and discretion, their beliefs or disinclinations. Waters have become so muddied that opinion settles one way or another, for or against this approach or that, leaving people with no personal options. We have to find some!
The following are suggestions that have been made. You are
free to make up your own mind. Please also find out all you can, on your own
behalf or for someone you know. It works better that way, and because you're
worth it!
www.reachouttrust.org
Articles www.reachouttrust.org/articlesRelatedIssues.php
www.salvationarmy.org.uk
Anti-Human Trafficking www2.salvationarmy.org.uk/uki/www_uki.nsf/vw-sublinks/025D829BF4D3A2DF8025744A003FF0B7?openDocument
www.familysurvivaltrust.org/info.php?page=links
www.cultavoidancesociety.org
Aims to pro-actively educate about the dangers of
destructive cults, in order to reduce the risk of people becoming involved in
abusive and totalitarian groups.
www.dc-international.org
www.dialogcentre.org.uk
www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Protection-Handbook-Powerful-Uncertain/dp/0749941650/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314271366&sr=1-1
www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Self-Defense-Dion-Fortune/dp/1578631513/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270395&sr=1-1
www.amazon.co.uk/Witchs-Shield-Protection-Psychic-Self-defense/dp/073870542X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270664&sr=1-1
www.amazon.co.uk/Practical-Psychic-Self-defense-Understanding-Influences/dp/1571742212/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270550&sr=1-2
www.amazon.co.uk/Psychic-Protection-Balance-Reprint-Beginnings/dp/1888767308/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314271221&sr=1-1
www.amazon.co.uk/Devil-Walk-True-Story-ebook/dp/B004QGYX8O/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1314270237&sr=1-3
More Questions than Answers
Kelly would write for a while and drop off contact for a
while. Sometimes I'd hardly dare say anything for fear of her suddenly dashing
to hospital in panic. When things calmed a little I asked what I said to upset
her, and got the response 'What makes you think it had anything to do with
you?'
I did think it because of how it happened, and when there
was an element of her wanting a longterm guarantee from me. Later pauses were
as if Kelly was boycotting me, something people do when things are hard, or
they are fed up with me, I don't fall in with their ideas, something gets
misinterpreted, or they don't want me to know something. Sometimes they are
back after trying other avenues, there's a critical event, or partly as here,
when people discouraging the contact lose their hold over the person.
There are things I still prefer not to write about Kelly and
her situation. The account could have focused differently and made more sense,
but this is as close as it gets. Readers may think I miss the point, or
emphasis changes as the yarn unravels. It is how it did unravel. I don't want
to over-rationalise someone else's life and crises, and have deliberately not
looked back over earlier writing here. Sometimes I did get the drift and
sometimes did not.
Someone claiming to be close to Kelly asked me to send her
writing. I'd had in mind to edit Kelly's writing and cross-reference with this
piece where possible, requiring a great deal of work but making for greater
interest. Half of it had disappeared from the email account we shared.
Something made me suspicious and I wrote Kelly I was unlikely to send her stuff
to anyone. I learned she had indeed asked them to contact me for it, but I'd
had a strange feeling it was Kelly pretending to be the other person, though
realise I was wrong.
Sad to say, Kelly returned to her close friendship with my
old adversary Marta, with such a strong influence on her life but who seemed to
care in her own way. Kelly's friend Phil still cared to the point of near
suffocation. Kelly said Phil would never leave her: She would be the one
deciding when to end the financial and personal arrangement where Phil kept
paying the bills. Trixie, the fruitloop therapist, pursued Kelly and Phil with a
veritable obsession for more fruitloop, an exercise fit to make my straight
hair frizzle and die.
I learned that young Daisy was no longer wanted by Trixie
who had used her in therapy as a quick fix to control Kelly. Now Trixie
threatened to stop the therapy if . . . whatever. Daisy retaliated with
behaviour that should have got them all banned forthwith, but no. Kelly lost
any bearings that just about remained. Perhaps she sought powerful, bossy
people, to give her life a structure or absolve her of responsibility. After
sending me details of one such person with a clear mind and mission, I
encouraged Kelly to appreciate aspects of their correspondence, but not to look
to this person for answers. It seemed as though Kelly wanted me to fend off
attention from this new person, plus 3 strong others now in her life. In our
early days it was simply Marta and a few amateur hangers-on.
Kelly got in touch with me after a 3-month break, pleading
for me to listen even minimally (I wondered if someone put her up to it). I
said I had not much time, explaining that we already had several years trying
over two long attempts, and she did not get my commitment for a third. (Kelly
herself had told someone in no uncertain terms that 'it had not worked.') OK,
she now agreed. I had to get firm when emails arrived at the rate of one per
minute. Whatever I tried to explain produced protestations: she did not know
what I was talking about, she had not done that, had no idea about something,
and was asking me how they happened. There'd be a flash of insight, vanishing
whence it came or just off anywhere. She flattered, manipulated like nothing I
ever saw. Was this how she got a hold on people, whereas it always seemed they
had a hold on her? How did she manage it all in ol' Hicktown without
anyone banging up against each other? Or did they - were there different
factions here, in a way like the Mafia have working territories? Although I
write as though Hicktown is small, who ever said it was!
She said (I did not mention it) that people told her she
manipulated, and she really wanted to learn how not to do that. She said she
would not bring events on herself for attention-seeking because it was too
hard, and she was not making them up. Mostly she was unaware of things that
clearly did happen. I told Kelly that people are not responsible for things
that other people force them to do, and then get them to forget. I said people
within her system and outside of it were keeping things from her or not being
honest.
We agreed that it was best if people tried to be honest with
themselves about their reasons. My view was that Kelly lost a lot of awareness
of Self, and also the World outside, when subjected to loud noise playing from
inside or outside her home, in punishment or as a method of control, or both.
The jury is out whether that torment was imposed due to her absence from
therapy. Deliberate or not, direct consequence or not, attending that therapy
surely had the effect of control. I'd go so far as to say someone smart/nasty
picked out people with special talents or weakness, with the purpose of making
those more extreme. Not what I call good therapy, do you? More like some
terrible experiment or sick joke that I would rather not be writing about.
Kelly could/should have been helped to become the
independent young mother that she used to be, one who helped those less
fortunate or able, and at some risk to herself. That was a reason I respected
her and tried to help, apart from my abhorrence of abuse of any kind, and of
bad or inept therapy. Kelly and parts of her system claimed there were other
local women in a similar situation to hers, being conditioned to feel worthless
or helpless, and forced to comply with needs of a larger or more powerful group
mediated by certain therapists.
When things got too much for some of the women, they
committed suicide in isolated places. Kelly and I wanted to help women like
this before that happened - in Hicktown - or anywhere with a similar problem.
Some places were very handy for cult gatherings and high drama, as the moon
rose over a clearing in the dense woodland.
Yup, more ol' Hicktown Speck-yer-layshun
The picture we get through Western films is of some town or
other, reached by dusty highroad or plain, over the hills or along a valley,
policed by a sheriff or guys with guns. There's guys who run the gambling, and
dames who run the whorehouse. All good clean, albeit lethal fun. Hard drinkin',
hard playin', hard womanisin'. What if it is not so far off the mark for this
Hicktown?
There is stuff I was made aware of that I cannot write
specifically, but the Hicktown set-up accommodated those who had and who took,
from those who had not; who brutalised those who could not fight or do anything
back. A few dames ran with the men, arranging for people like Kelly to be
virtual whores with little awareness - and hence no rights. No good clean fun
about that, in fact nothing good at all. If they had been looked after and
treated more like hostesses, I would not have the same problem with it.
I would not have the same problem if I did not think that
some of the dames were state-sanctioned therapists, with an official brief to
help the emotional or otherwise impoverished. Yes mesdames, you know who you
are. That would be like pimping on the NHS. We may say harsh things about our
NHS and all that, but we don't even approach this. Unless of course you know
different ... ... ... and no conspiracy theorists please.
Note from the authors of this site -
We will neither confirm nor deny any speculation or comments
regarding the whereabouts of this Hicktown, or possible identities of anyone
thought to be involved in any activities mentioned in these pages.
Maturation or Saturation
At one point I thought I was too strong in my attempts to
get some things across to Kelly. I did not know how much time we had for this,
so I pushed things a bit. But Kelly considered and answered my points one by
one. I commented that she had matured, but she felt it was more that she'd
given up on things. Next time she wrote she claimed she did not understand at
all, and round it went. I was not willing to keep on like this, and stopped
replying that day rather than get exasperated with her. Here is why I am glad
about that:
Next came an email from a little-known alter, explaining
some problems there. No-one, and I mean no-one, can be expected to cope with
what Kelly was facing, on top of what I already knew. No-one can sit in
judgement on someone else for they cannot know another's real circumstance plus
their internal reality. What might knock me for six could be funny to you, or
register no more than flicking a fly or taking a tumble. There is a saying that
the last straw breaks the camel's back. What if someone dumps a truck-load of
manure on the poor beast?
People told me that Kelly had ultimate protection. Let's
hope so, and that the attempts of some people to latch onto that - effectively
destroying her in the process - did not work, unless that was her chosen
destiny.
Kelly had told me about her beliefs on whether people had
souls, and how far anyone should act within the context of someone else's
destiny. I was not sure how far she took those beliefs, and now seemed a good
time to ask. She tried to explain then left it, returning once more before
disappearing off-screen to face yet one more challenge.
No-one can answer some questions for you in your life, nor
should they try to deter you from what you feel is appropriate.
Don't Sweep it all under the Carpet
While I am no advocate of talking things though ad nauseam,
neither do I think it a good idea to ignore things that need addressing. If
these pages don't apply to your life, all well and good.
Perhaps one day you will hear things about someone else, and
be more willing to wonder and less willing to judge.
I do not know. What I do think is that these issues are
important. I also think it important to keep an eye on the ball to ensure that
people who did not have things happen in this way, are not unnecessarily
encouraged to think or behave as though they did, because that is yet another
kind of hell on earth, and we have enough of those.
Quotation from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 'The Disappearance of
Lady Frances Carfax'
'I refuse to be rewarded for fostering a tragedy'
To Help Others
If you would like to do something to help others, because of
what you have read in these pages, Kelly's wish was that any monies should go
to charities or organisations helping children generally, or people who have
been abused. Thank you.
